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Supporting the Grieving Student: Practical Guidance for All School Professionals Presented by David J Schonfeld, MD, and Marcia Quackenbush, MS, MFT, CHES

Poll 1 – What is your role in schools?

• Teacher
• School-based or community-based mental health professional (e.g., social worker, counselor, psychologist, nurse)
• Administrator
• Other school staff
• Parent
• None of the above, but I care about kids!

Poll 2 – Has your school experienced a death in the past year (check all that apply)?

• School staff member due to COVID-19
• School staff member unrelated to COVID-19
• Student due to COVID-19
• Student unrelated to COVID-19
• Family member of a student or staff member due to COVID-19
• None that I know of

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NATIONAL CENTER FOR SCHOOL CRISIS AND BEREAVEMENT

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The Grieving Student: A Guide for Schools, Second Edition

Educators and other school professionals can be a critical lifeline for grieving children. With the second edition of this bestselling book, school staff will have the practical guidance they need to provide sensitive support to students of all ages and their families.

**https://bpub.fyi/GrievingStudent2e**

Poll 3 – Have you read any of the current (1 st ) edition of The Grieving Student?

• Yes
• No

Giveaway

We’re giving away a FREE copy of The Grieving Student A Guide for Schools, Second Edition! Three attendees will be selected at random and emailed after the webinar. Submit your questions to increase your chances!

Survey

At the end of the webinar, you’ll be prompted to complete a short survey. Let us know what you thought, and you could win a free book!

Certificates

Certificates of attendance are available for all webinar viewers. 1
Supporting the grieving student: Practical guidance for all school professionals
David J Schonfeld, MD, FAAP and Marcia Quackenbush, MS, MFT, CHES
National Center For School Crisis And Bereavement
Children’s Hospital Los Angeles
[email protected]

Children may not appear to be grieving

• Adults may communicate death is not discussed
• Children may – not yet understand what has happened or its implications – be overwhelmed by feelings – express grief indirectly through behavior or play

Being with someone in distress

• Do not try to “cheer up” survivors
• Do not encourage to be strong or cover emotions
• Express feelings and demonstrate empathy
• Avoid statements such as: “I know exactly what you are going through” (you can’t), “You must be angry” (don’t tell person how to feel)
• Limit sharing of personal loss experiences; keep the focus on the child’s experience
• Allow child to be upset while suspending judgment – intervene only when safety/health is concern

Addressing cultural diversity

• Some people are worried they will say or do the wrong thing because they feel ill-informed about another culture
• Although there are differences in cultural practices, the fundamental experience of grief is universal
• When we recognize that there is a range of ways to experience and express grief, we can explore ways to bridge cultural differences in order to help grieving children and families

Supporting children of a different culture

• Ask questions when you are unsure what would be most helpful for a family or individual
• Assumptions may result in stereotypes that cloud our perceptions and make us miss opportunities to be helpful
• Approach the family with an open mind and heart
• Help families identify and communicate what is important to them about cultural practices; work with them to find solutions and compromises when realities require modifications in cultural practices

Children’s guilt

• Young children tend to be: – Egocentric – Have limited understanding of cause of death à Magical thinking
• Results in guilt – Reassure children of lack of responsibility

Academic accommodations

• It is common for students to experience temporary academic challenges after a death; pre-existing learning challenges often become worse
• Offer academic support proactively – don’t wait for academic challenges to become academic failure
• Change an assignment, e.g., – Allow student to work with a partner – Adapt formal research paper into more engaging assignment
• Change focus or timing of lesson
• Reschedule or adapt tests

Helpful responses to a grief trigger

• Provide a safe space or an adult the student can talk to
• Set procedures for the student to obtain support
• Work with children and families to anticipate and minimize likely grief triggers

Grief during a pandemic

• After a death, children often concerned about the health of themselves or others close to them – Important to help children deal with fears/concerns about the pandemic
• Physical distancing/school closure increase social isolation; makes it difficult to provide support
• Secondary losses become even more of an issue
• Family members may be overwhelmed by the pandemic in addition to their own grief
• Some grief may not be related to death
• Supporting grieving students can be difficult in the best of times; this is not the best of times

What’s new in the second edition

• Broadened audience to include administrators, school mental health professionals and educational support professionals
• Two new chapters: special issues raised by suicide; support for grieving students in settings other than K-12 public schools
• More information about crisis incidents in schools
• Expanded companion online Study Guide
• Integrated video and print resources of Coalition to Support Grieving Students

Questions?